Hey, yes you, the one behind the window
You don’t have to make a purchase, just take a look around
When you find the best deal, then you don’t need my offer
I also happen to have a serious medical condition called “mall foot.” Mall foot is a sharp, painful ache that starts in the arches and radiates up the shins, forcing me to find one of those benches outside the store. A lot of guys get this. It’s a real thing. Swear to god.